Friday, January 21, 2022

I didn't know anything

 I don't actually know what's going on right now

Everything is just completely blurry for me.

A lot's of things happened and everything going so fast.

I didn't know what was wrong or what was right

I just lose everything and I didn't know what I supposed to do.

I didn't know what somehow called a wise decision and it would gonna be tough for me.

I don't know what to expect, I didn't see if there's still a light and I didn't know anything.

I love you so, 25 July 2021.






Wednesday, December 22, 2021

Broken soul

  I was weak just because to find where's your love

Am I worthy or just worthless..

Believe it or not, I already set it from the start that I love you with my clearly mind and there's nothing wrong about my feelings cause I gave it all so genuinely even if we're just met for a while and so randomly but I never playing around with my feelings.

2 year's was just enough for me to chill and survive from my traumatic. 

And with you, I set everything that I was so ready to give my love again cause I trust and believe that you are the right person.



There's just a few questions..

Am I loved or just in a day dreaming:'




Friday, October 8, 2021

Value

 



You don't even say " thanks " or see the value of my feeling from it and yet you just say those word instead.
It doesn't mean I want you to appreciate me or somethin' and it's not about the price but please..

Thursday, July 8, 2021

Tuesday, March 23, 2021

🤡

 


Absolute

 




How lucky I am that makes saying good bye as a hardest thing.

Life causes upside down, what comes around goes around. 

It wouldn't change for what is lose that will gone.

Would be the pain can make everything feels so enough? That should be, if there's no scars that can't heal.

Someone say's that self healing could be the way to moved on from the stage of grief.

I never think that could be the way to escape from those feeling and could heal the wound it self.


Am I a loner? I just wanted a genuine things that can accept me for whatever I had.


Tuesday, March 16, 2021

Saturday, December 12, 2020

Re : Who did III, The Final Attempts.

 


It's kinda worse isn't?

Know you were there, here were I am.

Wrote a nonsene clingy things like a real retarded.

Just say it, if you just already know that I'm doing this and you don't like it, just say it.

Realizing that I'm full of a freakin act, there might be you tried to stay away cause you don't want to take any risk by knowing me like this.


I already put my life in this thoughts.

I'm just gonna end this. 

So sorry, whoever you read this I feel sorry.

Help


 

Friday, December 11, 2020

Unrequited love, 03.50 AM

 


Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyou :')

Wednesday, December 9, 2020

Sugarcoat.

Rejected.

Someone said " follow your heart " . I did and I got broken.

Silence bounced, fell off my tongue and clogged my throat. It slaughtered my trust, it tore cigarettes out of my mouth.

I tried to exchanged blind words and I did not cry,
I did not beg but
 blackness filled my ears, lunged in my heart and something that had been good a sort of kindly oxygen turned into a gas oven.

No need to play the game but seriously, I want something genuine if I should struggling my self.

I'm not gonna leave, I'll just put my feelings towards to you behind the back door without you noticing it.

I love you, you're just the only one who can understand the full of me. I better start to say my grace for praying that I won't fall again, cause there would be no one like you do.