BLISSFUL OBLIVION

I often wish that I was still a child.

So many things change when we grow up.

Innocence becomes lost,

days become shorter,

the nighttime still scares me,

playing house becomes a game of survival,

boys become men, men become frightening,

I become sad, worried, anxious, and self-aware,

friends will lose their half of the necklace or their friendship ring,

being loved by someone will determine my worth,

I no longer feel small next to the kitchen counter,

but in the presence of everyone around me,

“Forever” loses its meaning,

everyone will eventually leave,

death is no longer a myth,

I will not smile as often as I did,

I will not cry as little as I did,

I will not feel safe in school anymore,

I will not go outside and play anymore,

I will try and pick the imperfections off of 

my skin until it is red and bleeding,

**** in my stomach whenever I walk,

work myself into exhaustion,

feel overwhelmed by every task,

have anxiety attacks in public places,

and wish that I was a child again.