🤡

 

Absolute

 

How lucky I am that makes saying good bye as a hardest thing.

Life causes upside down, what comes around goes around. 

It wouldn't change for what is lose that will gone.

Would be the pain can make everything feels so enough? That should be, if there's no scars that can't heal.

Someone say's that self healing could be the way to moved on from the stage of grief.

I never think that could be the way to escape from those feeling and could heal the wound it self.

Am I a loner? I just wanted a genuine things that can accept me for whatever I had.

Self-hatred

I don't know if I'm getting better or used to the pain.

Re : Who did III, The Final Attempts.

 

It's kinda worse isn't?

Know you were there, here were I am.

Wrote a nonsene clingy things like a real retarded.

Just say it, if you just already know that I'm doing this and you don't like it, just say it.

Realizing that I'm full of a freakin act, there might be you tried to stay away cause you don't want to take any risk by knowing me like this.

I already put my life in this thoughts.

I'm just gonna end this. 

So sorry, whoever you read this I feel sorry.

Help

 

Unrequited love, 03.50 AM

 

Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyou :')

Sugarcoat.

Rejected.

Someone said " follow your heart " . I did and I got broken.

Silence bounced, fell off my tongue and clogged my throat. It slaughtered my trust, it tore cigarettes out of my mouth.

I tried to exchanged blind words and I did not cry,
I did not beg but blackness filled my ears, lunged in my heart and something that had been good a sort of kindly oxygen turned into a gas oven.

No need to play the game but seriously, I want something genuine if I should struggling my self.

I'm not gonna leave, I'll just put my feelings towards to you behind the back door without you noticing it.

I love you, you're just the only one who can understand the full of me. I better start to say my grace for praying that I won't fall again, cause there would be no one like you do.

09 November 2020

I cried, thinkin out loud from how many bad things happened today.

The more I want to say it to someone, it's drained me more than a lot of tears by thinking and realizing that I don't have any someone to share with. 

Pathetic, pitiful and here's what the painfully meaning is.

My mind come to the conclusion like what the main character on the story thinking how to face it.

Like what they say about the vulgar masses.

" The more people flock to a group, the more foolish they become. "

No matter how prominent an individual is, the prominent that he would be blotted out by the sheer force of numbers when thrown into that lump of people.

Individual will, qualifications, and personality, let alone emotions aren’t considered at all.

We see only what we want to see, listen only to what we want to listen to, but for the things we want to say, we aren’t able to. This is the society that we’re living in right now.

Arose

 

Should I write what IF story of my life?

Masalalu & masa depan.

Keduanya tidak dapat dipisahkan dan selalu saling berhubungan.

Bagaimana caramu untuk memperbaiki masalalu mu yg gagal itu?

Apakah masa depan itu benar bagian dari masa lalu?

Apa yang kau petik, itu yang kau tanam. Bukankah begitu?

Fogbound

Help me leave this all behind

It was never be the same And it's bothered me.

The farther we drift apart, the more awkward it gets

The more time goes by, the more life happens.

And we gotta be men, we got responsibilities

Plus we don't say how we feel, and I feel like this is what got us in.

I'ma wash away my sins

I'ma rinse away this dirt

I forgot to make amends

To someone I may have hurt

I better stop and say my grace

From that I pray that I don't fall.